One of my favorite pet peeves is these morons that we continue to allow to drive on our roads. Since I do lots & lots of miles me and the missus get to see all kinds of meatheads. While Nashville isn’t the most crowded or populous and they generally are better drivers than other places like Atlanta, drivers still fall into the same basic categories.

• Speed demon & lane hoppers – these pukes are the most contemptuous and the most dangerous. With total disregard for speed limits or other people, they drive like total maniacs swerving in and out of lanes only to get two car lengths ahead of you.
• Young and ignorant – inexperienced drivers are more likely to be in the wrong lane or inattentive to what they are doing. They also fall into the distracted category.
• Old and frightened – Ok I know old people need to go get food, go to the doctor, visit friends, etc but do they have to do it during morning rush hour? Not only are they scared to death (and rightly so) but they are also old and obstinate and really don’t give a shit what we think.
• Racers/ NASCAR syndrome – these folks don’t necessarily fall into the speed demon category rather they are the ones that when you are cruising along at 74 mph on cruise control and you catch them and attempt to pass, they speed up. Absolutely irks the crap out of me. They are also the ones that don’t use cruise control at all because a real NASCAR racer doesn’t use cruise control. It also seems that they do it just to piss me off.
• Distracted – another particularly dangerous group that includes cell phone users, people that read while driving, PDA or blackberry typing, and I’ve even seen women who drive with their knee are talking on a cell phone AND putting on mascara. While their coordination is admirable, I resent them riskinh my life along with theirs
• Contemptuous – These assholes do things just to piss you off. They are the ones that pull out in front of you then take their sweat ass time getting up to speed. Or they get into the left lane and purposely speed up, slow down and tap their breaks and force you to come off the cruise control. These narcissistic assholes should be publicly flogged.

Sure we all pull a bonehead move every now and then but most of these jerks are so empowered by their anonymity that they act totally different in a car than who they really are. They figure you will never see them again, you don’t know who they are, you have no power to stop them and they can take out their pitiful inadequacies on you. Also a 2,000 lb vehicle or even worse a big old truck empowers a person with horsepower, freedom and for once a sense of control & independence.

Another reason that causes such behavior is the pressure of everyday life. People are late, they are in a hurry and have a hundred other things on their mind. At least thats what they tell themselves. Thats all bullshit, instead of thinking and planning out their days, they blame everyone else for their problems. They take their stupidity out on the rest of us.

I have an idea to solve this insane driver problem although it will never be accepted but you after you read this I think you might agree in principle. You know those paint ball guns that are popular for practicing killing each other for real instead of on video? Well if every time some asshole pulls a bonehead move, those around them tag their car with a paint ball. That way if they are a real asshole they will have plenty of paint splats on their car and the cops can write em up for being asshole drivers.

I know, I know, this requires honest evaluation of someone’s driving skills and there are those that would abuse the idea and blast innocent drivers. Then there are those that would probably use the real thing but you got to admit the satisfaction of blasting someone with paint balls after they cut you off in traffic would be close to sexual.

No real point to this story other than to bitch and moan. We all need to be more considerate of others on the road. Also, use your cruise control. Just think about it. If we all did exactly 70 or 75 and kept the cruise on, you would never catch up, pass or be cut off again. Of course this assumes that most people could be logical and consider such a concept. But as we all know, 75 to 80% of people in this world are just plain STUPID! So I guess you and I are doomed to put up with lunatic drivers.

Peace !!
The Sage

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 12th, 2007 at 1:00 am and is filed under Can't fix Stupid, Crazy Drivers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.